50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
An honest friendship is one in which even after weeks of not speaking, things are still the same whenever you choose to speak. I don’t see the obsession with talking to people every single day online or over text just to call yourselves friends. If you don’t talk to me for a while, I’m not going to assume you don’t want to be friends.
Yes mother I have slept for thirteen hours straight but Jesus slept for three days straight and started a religion so I don’t wanna hear it
can I never leave my bed can I